Some days I feel like the only thing I know in life is Chad. It's the only thing I am sure of and have no unanswered questions. I knew the love he had for me and the love I had for him. I knew who came home to me every day. I knew who to call when things were falling apart. I knew who I could count on. I knew what I'd wake up to every morning. I knew that even if he was away training, I wasn't alone. I knew what I wanted for our future. Chad was my future.
I had solid ground to stand on with confidence. Sometimes I now feel like I'm standing on too many cracks to count. So many unanswered questions. Everyday is a mystery. Everything is spinning around me and I don't know where to begin. It's almost overwhelming. I feel like I'm just going with the motions. I don't really want to try at anything, and just let things take its toll.
Honestly, I think that's as good as it's gonna get. So everyday is basically a big F you to the world. I just don't care....at all.