Besides grieving, I've got a whole new pile of crap I'm trying to sort through. Maybe it's not necessarily not having anything to say, as it is that I'm scared to share it. My trust in others has gone down the shitter fast. Some days I can feel my bitterness getting to an all time high. In a lot of ways I blame myself for getting close to people I shouldn't have. I really don't know. These days I just feel like such a fuck up. Like I'm bound to always have something going on because I don't deserve any better. Lately, I really worry that my life with Chad was as good as its gonna get. Maybe that's the only love I will ever find. Maybe that was it. Plain and simple.
I just miss when things were easy. I miss the unconditional love from Chad. I hate feeling so alone.
So there it is folks. I haven't been writing because it's just been the same old shit.