Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Palm Springs






Yes, I am finally going to share my Palm springs experience. Ever since I have been back to reality, it has been emotionally exhausting. I secretly have kept my bags packed in case I get the balls to just leave again. If only it was that easy to run away from things huh?

Our vacation in 103 degree weather was amazing! Perfect lay out by the pool weather, and that's just what we did! Our days consisted of 3 hours out by he pool and getting dressed up to go to dinner. Between me being naturally pretty pale, and loading on the sun screen every 15 minutes, I even managed to get some tan lines! I'm usually not really the type to love 100 degree weather, but it was perfect. I wanted to soak up as much Vitamin D as humanly possible.

I can honestly say, for the first time in over 4 months. I was RELAXED!! I forgot it was even possible. It was a nice reminder that not every part of my life is doomed. My back didn't hurt near as much as usual. I turned off my phone and didn't get online once. For the first time in a long time, I was just me. I didn't worry about having to talk about me being widowed to strangers. No one knew us. No one knew my husband just died 4 months ago. I was just some 20 year old girl off on vacation.

In the quiet of the night during our "porch time," we talked about life. You can always count on Mandy and I being stuck in the middle of a deep discussion. I swear, those would be the best words for people to hear. I'm serious when I say we should be recorded. We both shared secrets neither of us share with anyone else. Hell, I'm surprised that it took us so long to get to those secrets out. So even while I had fun getting dressed up and laying by the pool, I still worried about everything. Even on vacation, there was new things to cry about and share with my best friend. I wondered if could find the same relaxation here at home...but I was reminded that I live in the home that I was notified in. Framed photos of Chad crowd every part of my home. Here I have to answer the phone and to people. I have to mesh in and carry on with my life just like the rest of the world. That's where it gets hard. I want so badly to be apart of regular life again, I forget I am nowhere near ready. All in all, it was totally worth it. Every single part. Pool time and porch time. I would go back in a heartbeat. I relaxed, but most importantly, I learned a lot about myself I didn't know before.

8 comments:

  1. Hey Katie: This is Tabatha Hunter with the Daily Record in Bentonville. I got your email the other day about talking this week. The story is on your blog and how you're doing. Let me know when is a good time to call and I'll give you a call. I also need a phone number for you. My phone number is 479-271-3717 and my email address is thunter@nwaonline.com.

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  2. I'm glad to hear you enjoyed your vacation! I still am though, SUPER jealous of the weather :) I hope you're doing okay.

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  3. So, let me just say that the shoes you are wearing with the shorts and black shirt and the pink hat?? Are ABSOSTINKINLUTELY adorable!! Y'all were rockin' some hats, now! I forgot to tell you that I have several big floppy ones like the pictures from last week and they just make me feel so Audrey Hepburn. You and Mandy would have made Audrey proud!!

    I was telling Tami yesterday that if something happened to Neal, I would leave...leave Lexington, leave Kentucky, try to leave the states. Get as far away as possible. But that doesn't really help things, does it? That's not dealing with anything. You, darlin', are dealing. I still pray for you and think about you everyday and I still tell people at every chance I get about your hero, Chad. Peace and love on this Wednesday and please FedEx some 103 degrees here. I've been freezing my arse off ever since I got back to KY! xoxo

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  4. Its nice to hear about you having a good time and being able to relax. You deserve it girl. Keep smiling!

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  5. So glad you had such a wonderful trip! Looks amazing! Still keeping you in our thoughts and prayers!

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  6. you both deserved that time to relax.. and i'm SO glad you guys did :) love the pictures, you both are gorgeous!

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