Honey I'm Home!

My sweet husband is home!!! I am the happiest girl in the world! Thank you baby for coming home to me safe and sound. I missed you so much.

It's been over a week since I have posted anything, I've just been too busy! I had Ashley staying with me all of last week which was so much fun girl time. We stayed pretty busy doing stuff around town and hanging out with Emily and Amanda. It definitely made Chads last week gone go by super fast.
Chad got in around 4 30 Friday afternoon. It was so incredibly good to see him. He loves my new haircut. I will have to post a pic of that soon.. We went out to dinner at Outback because Chad wanted a steak. Then the rest is history. :) I've missed him so much and the house feels complete with him back. I just can't believe he leaves again in a few weeks...I'm trying not to focus on that and enjoy the time we do have together. It's just always in the back of my mind. We only have a little over a year left in the Corps.....I've just got to manage until then. While he is home, I'm going to cherish every single moment. Especially this 5 day weekend he has later this week. Woohooo!
Since Chad has been home we just been busy spending time together..whether it's out around town or doing absolutely nothing here at home. Chad decided it would nice to invest in some pepper spray for me. lol. I appreciate him wanting me to be safe, but I'm a little nervous about carrying it in my purse. I hope I never have to use it. That same day we went to a place called Dana Point. It's out on the beach and gorgeous! We would've stayed longer but we were getting tired, it had been a long day. Yesterday was Chad's 22nd birthday! Happy birthday to my man!! He had to work most of the day so we just hung out at the house all night. We cooked out on the grill and had some chicken and potatoes. It was a new recipe and we loved it. Chad left for work about an hour ago and I already miss him. :) The nest 2 days we have to just pack! I can't wait to move Friday!

I thought Fridays were suppose to be easy...

My Friday was very busy! I had to go to the bank for Chad, took Remi to the dog park, we had our first inspection for the house, and I went with Emily to the ER. I went to bed at 9:30..which is SUPER early for me. I was pooped! Emily had to go the the hospital because she tore her trapezius muscle in her neck. They couldn't do anything for her so she just has to rest it out until it gets better. The house inspection went well. We had no major damages. We are getting closer to moving out! Only 2 more weeks! Even better, Chad gets home in 6 days!!

Today I've got a hair appointment and I'm picking up Ashley from the airport. So not as busy today.

Wednesday Wackiness!

I heard from Chad finally today. He ended up not going back out to the hike. They made him stay and get some rest and get plenty of fluids in his system. He's not feeling one hundred percent. He's a got a case of bronchitis and some blood pressure problems. He's suppose to go see the doctor again and call me with the news. He is for sure staying the night back at camp and Im hoping they don't send him back out tomorrow. He said he's still feeling really weak and can't keep any food down. Please pray for my husband and a fast recovery.

This week is half way over with! Hurray!!! Zach's wife Ashley is planning on coming and stay with me until the boys get home. She flies in on Saturday and Im super excited for her to come stay. Although my house is cluttered and crowded with moving boxes I think it will be fun. I've gotten some new recipes I've been wanting to try so I plan on trying some of those while Ashley is here. She'll be my little guinea pig. :) Everyday I will post the new recipe and how it came out. So wish me luck!

Today I did more packing, cleaning, and laundry. I don't even know what to pack next!
Now I'm just waiting to hear from Chad again. Im so ready for him to be home and healthy.

Hypothermia

Hypothermia is a medical emergency that occurs when your body loses heat faster than it can produce heat, causing a dangerously low body temperature. Normal body temperature is around 98.6 F (37 C). Hypothermia occurs as your body temperature passes below 95 F (35 C).
When your body temperature drops, your heart, nervous system and other organs cannot work correctly. Left untreated, hypothermia eventually leads to complete failure of your heart and respiratory system and to death.

I got a surprise phone call from Chad tonight.I wasn't expecting to hear from him until saturday because they were leaving for a hike. I asked why he got to call me so early, turns out he got sent back from the hike because he had Hypothermia and the first signs of frost bite. He's feeling better now but was in pretty bad shape earlier. He had every symptom there is, shivering, a temp of 94 degrees, a hard time breathing, a weak pulse, and was a basically unconscious when others would talk to him. They hurried him back to the camp and warmed him up, monitored his temp, and gave him lots of IV fluid. Thank god he's ok. And to think his Staff Sergent almost didnt let them take him back to camp. Im glad the doctor was there to tell him Chad was in critical condition. Chad has been telling me everyone there has been practically dropping like flies, getting hypothermia, frost bite, and trench foot.

Thank god he is ok!!! They were trying to get his temp back up and get him feeling better for 3 hours. He called me after they had decided he was ok to go to bed. He's suppose to get lots of rest tonight and go back to the Doctor in the morning. If he's fully recovered they are sending him back out on the hike with everyone else. It was only the first day of this hike and he got hypothermia and someone else had gotten frost bite.. They must really be trying to toughen these guys up by sending them back out less that 24 hours later.

I hate that he was sick, but I am so thankful it wasn't worse and that he is better now. He's such a trooper and he deserves lots of prayers and support for everything he goes through. He literally risks his life for this country, whether he's deployed or not.



I am so proud of you Chad. You never fail to amaze me. Please be safe and come home healthy. Only 9 days left! I can't believe you've already have been gone for 4 weeks. It's flown by, but it's definitely time for you to come home. I love you.


Chad sent me this picture a couple nights ago...poor guy is worn out, but seeing his smile means the world to me.

Perfect Saturday

It was gorgeous outside today and I am finally feeling back to normal! Yay! My sunburn has stop burning/stinging but is has started to peel. My throat stopped hurting and Im not running a fever anymore. Since Remi has been cooped up all week I decided it would be perfect to take him to the park and get some of that energy out. He had a blast. He's so friendly with everybody, dogs and people. I took him to a different park than what we usually go to and I liked this one a lot better. Its closer to the gate and a lot cleaner. Remi loved all the little kids there and they got a kick out of petting him. It was too cute. A lot of people told me today that he looks like a Lab and Chihuahua mix. Makes me laugh everytime. Is that even possible?? Someone even said he looked "wild," what does that even mean? I promise I didn't find him with a pack of wolves in the moutntains somewhere.haha Here are some pictures of our fun at the park.




After being there for a little over an hour he was getting a little worn out. We got in the car and headed to Petco because he needed some more food. I also ended up getting a little bed to put in his crate. Yes, I realize I have become "that girl" that loves her dog like it's her kid. I don't mind though, he's all Ive got while Chad's gone, and that's the reason we got him in the first place. We think of him as our little son. Dogs are military wives best friends. :) Well it is in my case anyways.haha

After Petco I stopped by the good ole Taco Bell to grab something to eat. Yum! Remi was a good boy on the ride home sleeping on my lap or on the passenger seat. It's safe to say he had a good day today. :)

I need to do some packing..I just don't know where to start! Ive been wanting to do a little bit the last few days but have yet to start. There's always tomorrow right? I'm going to run out of tomorrows if I don't get busy!

Only 2 More Weeks.

Just 2 more weeks until Chad gets home. I can hardly wait. At the same time I feel bad about me being so excited that he's coming home, because Emily is having such a hard time with Maxx being gone. I want to make her feel better so bad, but I know how it feels and there's not much I can do to help her. It breaks my heart to hear her crying on the phone to me and there really isn't much I can do but just be there for her. It doesn't feel like Im doing enough. She's having a hard time with her family and she's worried about the baby. I wish I could just take all her worries away so she can focus on the baby and staying healthy. I wish I could distract her from missing him, but I know nothing can take that away. Emily is such a good person and always takes care of everyone else. She deserves to be taken care of.

This week has been insane. Not only for myself but for my family and friends. I pray that everyone is safe and healthy at the end of the day.

I did get to talk to Chad late last night. He's doing ok a lot of people have been getting sick so Im glad he has managed to stay healthy. He's sore of course because they hiked 50 miles in the snow at 20 degrees. He sure is a trooper and I can't wait until he is home and safe.

Went to the doctor today, he didn't help what so ever. I absolutely hate Naval doctors and the system they have. I have never seen the same doc everything time I have gone, and they act like you are putting them out of their way. Chad and I both decided it's time to get a doctor off base. Since he decided I "wasn't sick enough" I went home with nothing to make me feel better. Ive been feeling worse as the day goes on. I took a 4 hour nap and woke up feeling the same. Tomorrow if I am still feeling the same Im just going to head to the ER because I have been sick for a week. I just want to feel better so I can take care of the house and do some more packing.

What a week....

Deployment: A Walk Down Memory Lane

You spend weeks and weeks preparing for his leave. In my case, make my first trip to California to spend one last weekend with him before he deploys. You talk on the phone as much as you can because he's states away. The day finally comes and you think that it's a day that will never end. I was snowed in from a bad blizzard the day that Chad left. While he made his long trip to Iraq he could call and let me know where he was.



First Maine, then Germany. One of the last pictures I sent to him while he was still in the states was of me shoveling snow. :) The night he finally arrived in Iraq, I don't even remember if I got to talk to him or not, but I knew he was there. I sat in my room, with no power. I had candles lit and I wad an old CD player listening to Corey smith, as I wrote him his first letter. I bawled my eyes out. I felt like everything was out of my control. It was a letter explaining all the feelings and thoughts I was going through. How I didn't know if I could go through with this or not. My heart felt like it was being torn into a million peices.My head was hot and my entire body sobbed. It was one of the most sad and depressing moments of my life. The paper was soaked with my tears and I felt like no body could take away my pain. My other half was in a war zone. Was that the last time I would hear his voice? Would I ever get the honor to marry this man? I sat and cried for hours, writing page after page of this increbily heart wrentching letter. I cried to hard and long I felt like there was nothing left in me. I finished my letter assuring him how much I loved him, and signed my name. Folded it up and put it in my drawer under all of my clothes. I never sent that letter. I knew it wasn't a letter I would want him to read. All I wanted was to uplift him and keep him strong so he would stay focused and stay alive. I still have that letter today, tucked away in a box. Chad has never read it and I never plan on showing it to him. It was a time of complete weakness and I honestly didn't know if I had it in me to make it through that deployment...

As hard as it was to be strong for him, I did my best. There would be times he would call and beg me to come get him. There were time where all I could do is just cry with him. I wrote him atleast one letter everyday, and some days I was sending him 5at a time. Chad and I both still have every single letter we ever wrote to each other. Chads are filled with sand and dirt from being in Iraq, and mine are stained with tears

You miss his phone call and it feels like the end of the world. What if that was the last call he would make? Deploymnet is filled with all of these "what if's." I remember sitting in class, or cheering at a basketball game, watching the door, hoping and praying he would walk through and surprise me.What if he got home early and didn't tell me? I would imagine seeing him walk through the door and me running to him and holding on tightly while I cried on his shoulder. Tears would fill my eyes because no matter how long I watched that door...he never walked through.

No one knew what I was going through. People tried to understand and would say things to me like, "I don't how you do it," or " You are so strong." I did it beacause I had to. I did it because I loved Chad more than anything in this entire world. I didn't feel strong. I felt the furthest thing from that. No one saw me cry myself to sleep every night. No one saw me on my knees beggind God to just let him come home. People have no idea what, not only these brave Marines, but what their family goes through in this time. I never thought in a million year I would fall in love with a Marine. I did, and I wouldn't change it for the world.

Deployment is truly my worst nightmare. Chad and I have already spent nights crying to each other of just the thought of another deployment. Now that it's official I feel like Im losing him all over again. This deployment will be different. Not only because we are married but because this is Afghanistan. This is a whole other ball game.

I pray that I will learn to be stronger for Chad this time around. I pray that he of course makes a safe return home. I pray he will be strong enough for this. I guess it never really sank in that I would be doing this all over again, but one thing the USMC has always taught me, is you can never control anything.

Maybe this entry is one of my weaker moments, but thats the fact of life. You have you highs and lows, and all you can do is do your best to get through them. Here are some pictures of Chad homecoming last year. These pictures still make me cry and I will never forget how incredibly relieved I was on that day. It was the first time to see Chads face in 7 months.

I don't know what my deal is...

The last 24 hours I just can't seem to stop crying. Every little things brings me to tears. I here a song, I cry. I talk to Emily, and cry for her because Maxx is gone. I can't move because of my sunburn, I cry. I think about Chad, and I freakin cry!! Im like a dang baby today. I don't feel well, I found out the date of Chad's next deployment, I miss him, and hate being at home by myself. Maybe Im overreacting...but I honestly can't help it.

I can't believe I have to start preparing for another deployment already. Only months away before I have to do through my worst nightmare all over again. I hate that I can't control anything. I can't control when he leaves, when he gets to call, or if he will be safe over there. I want to try and get through this deployment while staying here in California. I just don't know if I can do it. I want to do it so I don't feel like such a little girl running home for every little problem. I really want to stick this one out on my own, but if Im already a mess now, I can't imagine how I will be once he actually is gone.

I may be away from home and away from my family and friends, but this is my home now. This is the home and life Chad and I have built together. I miss a lot of things about Arkansas, and theres some things I don't miss. I have been shown who really loves me and cares about me, and who doesn't. Those who I have lost in Arkansas, I've gained in California. I may not have a lot of friends, but I have all the ones I need. The handful of people that I know I can always count on. I don't understand why some people have seemed to forget about me completely. I might never know why or understand it. On one end Im ok with that, and on the other, Im to the point where it hurts so much it pisses me off more than makes me sad. Right now I've got all I need and Im not going to make an effort to be in their lives if they don't make an effort to be in mine.

I can't wait to talk to Chad friday. It's been a hard week. I need him home and I need the USMC to stop taking him away from me. A little over 1 year left and we will be done with this mess....I just need to focus on that.

I look like a flippin lobster!

I can honestly say I have never been this sun burnt in my entire life. This California sun is in some way totally different from back home. Maybe TMI, but I've laying around my house practically naked it's so bad. My whole body is a little read but it's my shoulders and chest that are excruciating. I've been putting a cold cloth on my chest and that helps and I keep lathering on the aloe vera. I don't know what else to do. I slept the entire night in the same position on my back. haha. I never want to see the sun ever again!! WHY ME?!?!?!?

I took this picture when i got home from the pool when i realized how bad it was. It's wayyyy more red today.

You probably have already heard..

but I LOVE MY HUSBAND!

Chad Stafford Wade, this post is for you sweetie.
You are truly my knight in shinning armor...Better yet, my Marine in dress blues. Or cami's..either way. :) I love you so incredibly much and I cherish our friendship and relationship more than anything in this entire world. I never thought what we have even existed. You're my best friend and so much more. I committed my entire life to you when we exchanged wedding vows. I will forever be your wife and will grow to love you more and more every day. We have the whole world in our hands and I can't wait to see what the future has in store for us. We are such a strong team together, the BEST team together. I depend on you for everything. I will never be ashamed of that. I live and breathe for you Chad. I am so lucky to be treated like a princess by you. I am so lucky how understanding and loving you are. So willing to drop everything just for me. I honestly believe no one has ever loved me as much as you do. I almost can't even believe how incredibly lucky I am. Be mine forever and I will forever be yours. Thank you for all you do for me everyday. I love you so much and I can't wait for you to be back home with me and Remi. :)


My husband is so amazing. Most people don't understand or even know the things he goes through everyday. Please pray for him. Give him the strength he needs to make it through the next couple of weeks. He goes through unbelievable obstacles for YOUR freedom. More than anything, he deserves your prayers and respect.

Chad took this picture for me just the other day. I told him I missed his face.:)



I am so lucky.

Baby Fever.

Im actually really weary about posting this..but I figure that this is what a blog is for. To share your most inner thoughts and feelings.
Ok, here it goes..

Chad and I have been planning this whole time to wait to have a baby until we are able to move back home for good. The last several weeks we have gotten this want for a baby so bad. (And no this isn't because my best friend just found out she is pregnant.) Chad and I were talking about it way before she found out. The only thing holding us back right now is that he most likely will be deploying again at the end of the year. He and I don't want him to miss one thing about the pregnancy or the baby being born. We've been talking about it more and more everyday. All I've wanted my whole life is to be a mommy, and I know for a fact Chad and I would make great parents. I can't wait to experience all of it. From having a big pregnant belly,to holding a little person in my arms, knowing he or she is the perfect mix of me and Chad. I can't wait to see Chad hold our little baby in his arms. He's going to be such an amazing father.People might think we are too young, or haven't been married long enough, but every ones time to start a family is different. Maybe the only child we will have for now is our little Remi.. or maybe we will start trying for a baby. Either way, I can't wait to see what is in store for Chad and I. :)

It's been a few days..

Well let's see...
I got my first big project done last week. Well my first big furniture project. I got a free coffee table and spruced it up a little bit. It looks sooooo much better. I'm actually pretty proud of myself. I have to admit, I had no idea how complicated paint is. Ok well, maybe not so much complicated, but detailed. I've never painted walls or any furniture so I literally had no idea. Thank goodness for the man at Lowe's that gave me all the tips and tricks I needed to know. Turns out there's paint you can get where you don't have to sand before using it. That was a huge help! The coffee table turned out great and I can't wait to start using it in our new apartment. Now I want to paint all of the furniture in my house! Here are the before and after pics. I have tinted glass that goes in the 3 squares I just don't have a picture of them in there yet.
BEFORE


AFTER


Things with the apartment are working out little by little. I put in our 30 day notice on the 1st. But we still plan on moving into the new apartments on May 29. That might change, I just have to talk to Chad about that. Slowly but surely its happening and I can't wait to get out of here.

Chad is out in the field til Friday so I wont be able to talk to him all week. Then thankfully that next whole week he will be in a new place where he will get cell phone signal!! Woohoo!! Poor guy has been working so hard and having such a hard time. Less than 3 weeks left! I'm so proud of him.

Today I got done everything I needed to get done, so I went and spent a few hours laying out by the pool. It felt so good and I even started a little tan already :). I hope that by the time Chad gets home I have some nice color to me. Im done using the tanning beds, but I dont mind a little color from the California sun! I can't wait to go lay out again tomorrow. It's like the sun sucked out all of the energy from me, because once I got back home and settled in a little bit, I got so tired. I went and laid in bed at about 7:30 and then woke up right at 11:30. Hopefully I will be able to go back to sleep ok.