Sunday, October 17, 2010

I really thought it happened..

Well, last night I really thought we were going to have a big announcement for everyone. As most people know, we've been trying to conceive for about 3 months. And even though after our first visit to the doctor to take me off all my meds to start, we were told it takes a healthy couple up to a year to get pregnant, I still had hope it would happen before Chad deployed. We planned it that way so that by the time he got back he would be home in time or the birth. FYI, If you are not interested or womanly stuff bothers you, I'd stop reading now. lol

Anyway, I haven't really gotten into much detail other than stating we were trying. I went of the pill while Chad was training in Mojave Viper during the whole month of July. Well I was oblivious to the fact that my body needed time to get back to normal after being on BC or 4 years. It took me almost 3 full months to finally get my good ol' aunt flow. Those first couple of months, I was convinced I had gotten pregnant. I had crazy symptoms I have never had before, and of course no period. But It ended up just being my body trying to get back on track making my own horomones again. So I guess technically speaking, September and October have been the only months I have ovulated. So maybe I should say it's only been 2 months that I actually could've gotten pregnant. This month I figured out how to tell I was ovulating and we did the "love dance" that entire time. One thing they don't tell you in Sex Ed, is that there's only maybe a week out of every month that you can actually get pregnant. I was under the impression until not to long ago that it could really happen at any point in time. Anyhow, I'm close to being 2 weeks post ovulation. I started taking tests about 5 days ago because I just wasn't feeling myself. I knew it was early to start testing, but I really had no idea what as going on. I started to get very fatigue. I was ready for bed by 8 o'clock. Which is VERY early or me. I had some slight cramping, nausea, and my emotions have been getting the best of me. And all of this started not too long after I stopped ovulating. Well up until last night all I got was negatives, I wasn't very surprised, because even if I was, it would most likely be to early to tell... Now to start with last night...

I got some Dollar store tests, after doing a lot of research, they work just as well as name brand tests. And spending $8- $15 every time I wanted to test was getting out of control. I bought 4 and said I would take one every other day, or every day. When I ran out of those, and still had no period I would keep taking them. Last night I took one after we got home from San Diego, just to see. I sat there and watched for the result, within like 1 minute I only saw a negative, so I brushed it off and we got ready to go to the hot tub. Once we got back room the hot tub, I was curious to see it again, I guess just to put my mind at ease before bed. Well low and behold, there was a VERY faint positive line. I freaked out! I asked Chad if he could see it and he saw it too. So it wasn't just in my head. But then he reminded me that it had been after 10 minutes and you aren't suppose to acknowledge anything after that time frame. I've had some evaporation lines on some of the others, but none that were in that exact spot and were pink in color. My heart started pounding. That was my last test that I had at the house, so I headed over to Walgreens at like 10 to grab some others since the dollar store was closed and I didn't want to wait til the next day. I prayed the entire way there, begging and hoping for me to be pregnant. Once I rushed to the store and back I took another one, saving the other for the morning. Well, it came out negative, no faint line or anything, as did the the morning test...

I was devastated. I guess it is my fault I got my hopes up so fast. As for now, I'm guessing we didn't get pregnant this month, and it must have just been an evaporation line since I looked back at it about 30 min later. I have one more test, but I'm not testing again until I see whether my period comes or not. Which is in about 3 days.

We were really hoping it would happen this month, since it's the last time it could've happened before Chad left. But I am trying to stay positive. And Chad has been so patient with me, and he has really lifted me up with every negative I have cried over. I just pray that it happens once he gets back. I know it's early to think this, but I don't want to be one of those women who can't ever get pregnant, or that it takes like 5 years of trying. Everyone has reassured me that it will happen when it suppose to, but I honestly hate that saying. Makes my heart sting because I know we will be amazing parents. And I look at others who got pregnant, and really didn't want r planned for it to happen. One day, I pray that we will be given the gift we want so bad. And baby dust to all those who want it just as bad!

1 comment:

  1. awww sweetie.... I am sorry. I wish it would have happened for you. But the good thing out of this is that Chad would hate missing every little detail of you being pregnant. He would have HATED to hear that you could feel the baby move and he wasn't there with you. Just take the time when Chad is away to track your ovulation and you will be pregnant in no time!!